Co-Parenting Group Starting Soon

I'm currently recruiting clients to join a co-parenting group.  The group meets once a week for 8 weeks.  It is very affordable, just $25 per session ($200 total).  

It may be comforting to know that most children adapt quite quickly post parent split up if a couple of things are in place: 1.  Parents resolve any ongoing and persistent conflict between themselves.  2.  The children return to a consistent and predictable routine.  And 3.  They can maintain a healthy and happy relationship with each parent without interference from the other parent.  

Of course, there are many heartaches and unmet wishes a child of divorce may have.  Like they might hope their parents get back together.  This is very common, but this unmet wish is something they will understand with time.  It isn't something that they will carry with them forever.  Ongoing and persistent conflict, unpredictable parenting, and fear of ridicule or disappointing a parent has much further reaching consequences.  

This group is designed to help parents resolve ongoing conflict between each other that involves parenting matters, helps you get in touch with your child's experience, and introduces parenting strategies so that your child has as consistent and predictable a life as possible.  

If you're interested, or know someone that might be, give me a call or shoot me an email!  I also offer co-parenting sessions on an individual basis.  

kjerstinelsonlmft@gmail.com

(650)416-6388 


   

Biweekly Roundup

Good new about marriage today!  The 50/50 divorce rate is not true any longer!  However, that does not mean you shouldn't keep working on your marriage!  Today's articles discuss attitudes and reasons why marriages are working, tips on communicating your needs/wants more healthily with your partner, a heart-warming story about when co-parenting with a step parent goes RIGHT!, and a new study about how daily chaos influences your child's sense of self and family stability.  Read on!

1.  Marriage rates are up!  If you got married in the last decade you are 70% more likely to stay together until death!  The 50/50 split and stay rate is a myth!  Divorces peaked in the 1970's and 80's and is correlated with the beginning of a cultural shift spurred by the feminist movement, but these days people have adapted, attitudes have shifted, and the results are in: if you get married you are likely to stay married!  Read more here: http://jezebel.com/that-50-percent-divorce-statistic-hasnt-been-true-for-a-1665833364

2.  On the subject of marriage this article has some tips on improving your communication with your partner.  It lists a few "what not to say" followed by a healthier way to talk about getting your needs met.  It's short and might help you get thinking about communicating more effectively and carefully :D http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/marriage-sex/worst-words-in-a-marriage

3.  However, if you are divorced, with kids, this is a heart warming best-case-scenario of what life could be like when both partners move on, co-parent cooperatively and involve new step-parents.  It is not easy, nor wanted (by most) to have a new "parent" in the mix.  When your ex moves on and has a new partner that can lead to a myriad of reactions: anger, jealousy, mistrust, relief, fear, sadness, anxiety, you name it!  However, in the best cases, when the new step-parent bonds with the children, is a positive role-model, and co-parents cooperatively with both parents things can end really well for the child and parents!  I know this is not always the case, but I think it is heartwarming to know that this can happen for some families.  Read the story here: http://www.today.com/parents/letter-my-daughters-stepmom-i-never-wanted-you-here-1D80341783?cid=sm_fbn

4.  This next article is based on a study done with six year olds.  The six year olds drew pictures of their families, a common diagnostic tool used by clinicians.  Then the drawings were analyzed for distance between family members, sad, angry faces, etc.  These were then cross referenced with the child's home life.  What the study reveals is that children with chaos in the home (referred to as "a function of poverty") which could be loud noises, excessive crowding, lack of structure, and clutter down the line leads to children with poor self-esteem, poor family relations, and higher levels of family dysfunction.  The study suggests that daily disorganization leads to negative outcomes more so than occasional instability in the home.  read more here: http://www.npr.org/blogs/ed/2014/12/08/368693069/kids-drawings-speak-volumes-about-home?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=202608

and the original article here:  http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616734.2014.966124#/doi/abs/10.1080/14616734.2014.966124